Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
