Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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