she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You are a genius and a whore.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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