She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
