And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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