Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
