She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
