Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
