well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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