I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize