im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
