i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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