i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
