He had one of those small greek statue penises
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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