Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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