This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
