I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
