so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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