Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
