Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
