dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
3 2 1 whiskey
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
