I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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