I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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