Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
