Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
