Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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