She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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