Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
