Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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