I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
