my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
