i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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