hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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