he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
