And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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