do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
