Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
