no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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