I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
