I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
