Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
