Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
