Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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