i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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