If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
