So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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