Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
