I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
