there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
