i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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