I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My pussy is not your playground.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My ass is underappreciated
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
