perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
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When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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