I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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