hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize