My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
