they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
