I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
