my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize