Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
