My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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