You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
