Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize