Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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