U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
