I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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